Thursday, June 11, 2015

20 Followers Contest... Challenge 1! (Part one!)

Here is my part one of my entry! (Tenley, what happens if I only get one part of my story up today, and then, let's say, Saturday?)
Flower Girl
I sighed and sank into my bed of flowers. I listened to the birds chattering to each other and the crystal clear creek giggling. I suddenly jolted up; sounds I had never heard before were coming close to Flowaer Clouridge (Circle of Flowers). I quickly flung a spell around my flowers and dashed into my hiding place. (Which is a hollow tree.) I saw where the sounds were coming from! They were humans! I hadn’t seen humans in almost three years! From my hiding place I narrowed my eyes at them. I stared at the people; there were two adults, one man and one woman, and one lonely girl. I stared at the girl. She didn’t look like a human! She almost looked like a Clofawn. But Clofawns are made up and are fairy-tales and I'm not sure what they look like.  I remembered when I was younger. My mother was speaking to me to me about Clofawns. She said, “Flowaer. You are now come of age.”
   I remembered looking up at her face. “Come of age for what?”
 “Your new name and job. When you were born, you were named Flowaer. Do you know why?”
 “Of course!” I piped up. “Flowaer is a native language to the forest. It means flower.”
 “Exactly. When you were born, The King decided to make you A Guardian.”
 “What does A Guardian mean?”
 My mother sighed. “Please stop interrupting and let me finish talking. A Guardian means that when you are born, you would be dubbed A Guardian. When you come of age you will go the to king. And he will give you  a certain thing to guard. You will have to guard that area for five years, and if you succeed, you will get a larger area to guard. You will guard that for three years. When the three years are up, you will be evaluated on how you did. If you did the best, you will be king or queen of that certain thing.” She paused for a second. “When you were born, The King decided that you would be A Guardian of Flowers, hence the name. When you were a day old, you were taken to The King, and he put some of his power into you. He called you a Clofawn, which means nymph. But Clofawns are not real, instead or Clofawns, you are a Madream; which means fairy.  After you received your power and your new name, you will get it when you come of age, you were taken away from your real mother because she was a Clofawn, and your father was a Madream. The King thought it would be unfair for you to grow up with a Clofawn and learn how to use your power before you come to age. So you were given to me.”
 I was shocked. “So, you’re not my real mother? Also, what happened to her?”
 My mother, if I could call her that, sighed. “No, I’m sorry Flowaer, but I’m not. Your mother is not here anymore. Three years ago, a new king sat on the throne. He destroyed all Clofawns.”
 “So I’m the only Clofawn left?”
 “No. You are not a Clofawn. You are a Madream!” My mother was angry. “You must never say to anyone that you are a Clofawn! I'm sorry. Now that you are come of age, you have a new name. It is Cetrea. It means guardian of flowers.”
 “So I’m guarding flowers?” I asked.
 “Yes, go to The King, and he will give you an area to guard for five years. After five years are up, you will have a bigger area of flowers to guard. After three years you will be evaluated. Hopefully you will be the Queen of Flowaers.”
 I was confused. “But, but how will do I use my powers?”
 “Cetrea, listen close to me. You will learn how to use them. Goodbye Cetrea! Remember that I love you!” With that my mother pushed me out of the door.

As soon as I stepped outside, the sun blinded me. I blinked a few times, and then it was fine. I sighed; outside was so pretty! My mother kept me inside my whole life, so outside was a whole new world. I loved how the shafts of sunlight streamed through the rows of pine trees. I followed what I thought was the path to The King’s house. It was a very narrow road, and it only had wood chips on the top. I heard a sound I had never heard before. It took me awhile to realize what the sound was. It was children laughing! I ran over to the children. I smiled shyly at the children.
 One older girl came up to me. “What’s your name, your age, and what do you need?” she declared boldly.
 I wasn’t sure how to answer her. “Um, um, my name is, um, Flow-, no, I mean Cetrea, and I am, um, 10. I am looking for The King’s house.”
 “Why?” She stood there just staring at me.
 “Um,” I wasn’t sure how to answer her. “I am A Guardian. So, I need my place to guard.”
 “Oh! Okay! Follow me!” she started to walk through the town.
  I tried to keep up with her. “Could - you – walk- a – little – slower?” I panted.
 “Nope!” she kept walking. “We have to get there before the gates close.”
 I sighed. “Fine. How much longer?”
 “About five minutes!” she yelled at me.
Ten minutes later.
 “Are we there yet?” I asked.
 “Five more minutes!” she promised.
Ten more minutes later.
 “We are here!” she pointed to humongous castle.
 I gulped. “That’s The King’s house?”
 She shook her head. “Nope! That’s his summer house! Go on!” she pushed me towards the gates. I started to walk in the gates. A guard stopped me before I could get through the gate.
 “Halt!” he commanded. “What are you doing here?”
 I wasn’t sure how to answer him. “I was dubbed A Guardian, and I need my place to guard.”
 He pulled out a clip-board. “Name.”
 “Old or new?” I questioned.
 “Old. Now hurry up. Oh, and age to.”
 “Flowaer, and I am ten.”
He started to write Flower.
 I shook my head. “No, it’s spelled f-l-o-w-A-e-r.” He finished scribbling my name on the clip-board and went inside. About ten minutes later he came back.
 “The King will see you now.” I followed him inside. After walking through a maze, it seemed like that to me, we were at the throne of The King. I bowed down to him.
 “Good day. What business are you here on?”  I was surprised how high pitched his voice was.
 Still bowing down I answered him. “My name was Flowaer, but now I am Cetrea, and I need a area to guard.”
 He nodded his head. “Ah! Cetrea; guardian of the flowers.” He snapped his fingers. A waiter appeared. “Go get the Flowaer map. Quickly!” Faster than I could say Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled Peppers, the waiter come back. He handed The King a map. The King looked at the map, and snapped his fingers two times. Slowly I saw a fairy or a Madream fly in. The King and she whispered together, and The King showed her a place on the map. She came up to me, picked me up, and started to fly away with me. As I started to stare at her more closely, I saw she had chains on her wrists on ankles. I decided to ask her about that.
 “Excuse me, but where are we going, who are you, and why do you have chains on your wrists and ankles?”
 She sighed. “I am Corta, and we are going to an area for you to guard.”
 I didn’t get all my answers. “What does Corta mean, and why do you have chains?”
 “Corta means last fairy. I have chains because The King doesn’t want me to fly all over. He wants to keep my shoved up in his castle.” She was angry. “He killed at the winged Madreams except for me. He decided to keep me for some reason. I have no family any more, and The King controls me. And if he wants, he can just pull on the chain that is in his castle, and zip! I’ll be inside of his castle!”
 I was shocked. “I’m sorry Corta, and  I didn’t think you would get so angry.”

 She shook her head. “It’s okay. Oh! We are here!” From some un-seen magic, my eyes were closed. I felt myself being set down in soft green grass. “Goodbye Cetrea! You will be able to open your eyes after I leave.” A heard a flutter or wings; she was gone. I opened my eyes and looked around. I was in paradise! But what was I going to do?

What do you guys think? Do you like it?


  1. Oh I love it! If part 2 isn't up until after Friday, I'll just count this as your entry. Don't worry, I won't take off points for it being unfinished. Also, I said I wouldn't tell people their scores but.... I just have to tell you your's! I'm giving you a 10/10!

    1. Thank you! I am planning on writing more, but I have been super busy! I'm glad you won't count off points if there is only one part! Oh my goodness!!! Wow! Thank you so much! I was afraid that no one would like my writing, and that it wasn't that good! I'll definitely try to post more of the story!

  2. I really like the story line! You did a good job structuring the world, names, and customs. Can't wait for more!



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